When You Least Expect It

“When you least expect it.” Those go-to, sage words of wisdom that people inevitably share with you when you’re feeling single and alone, or panicked because business is slow, or when you are just in an overall life rut.  They say it with that reassuring smile like they know something you don’t. As a little whisper in your ear to incentivize you not to lose faith when you’re really down. And while I would more often than not reply to that statement with a roll of the eyes, I recently had a change of heart.

When I started Frankly Speaking a little more than a year ago, I was immersed full-time at a recruiting firm - one that had been beaten up by The Great Recession and was slowly emerging from the ruts of a jobless recovery. Although business was just starting to get better, I realized that I wanted more. So I began blogging as an initial, but pivotal step to moving me closer to my passions. For well over 2 years prior, I felt like my world had been in “Groundhog’s Day “mode and I found myself wondering what happened to all of my plans?  I was finally re-inspired to put my own life plan back into action - and to help others do the same.

Personally, I spent many a Saturday at Starbucks with my mentor/coach laying out all of the steps I would take over the next year of my life to achieve my goals. I had so much that I wanted to do. These were big-girl steps that I wanted to take.  I’d spent way too much time on the baby staircase.  I needed to make some real changes.

I finally had a plan. I was finally back on track.

But, as we know, life rarely goes as planned, and things we hope and wish for don’t always come to us in the way that we think they will.

When you least expect it.

You see, one of my goals was career advancement, leadership and autonomy, but I never imagined that my company would suddenly close its doors– leaving me the opportunity to open my own.  I knew that after 11 ½ years of living in the same apartment building that I wanted to move, but I never thought that my living environment would change enough to force me to do it without looking back. And when I set out to be a career/life coach, I never thought that the random girl eavesdropping on me at Starbucks might lead me to my next partnership. 

Yes. All of these things were in my plan, but not at all the way I planned them.

Frankly speaking, the past year has taught me that extraordinary things can happen when you truly commit to making changes.  Sometimes they happen at inopportune times or in ways that come out of left field, but it’s so important to be open to accepting them when they appear – especially if it’s when you least expect it. 

Ctrl + Alt + Delete

So, here we are. Entering into the final two weeks of 2012. I started this blog at the beginning of this year- Leap Day, to be exact – and my, oh my, how unknowingly symbolic that actually was. This year has been full of leaps that 10 months ago, I never would’ve believed that I would’ve taken. And I am eternally grateful. I actually sit here in amazement of how the Universe has such a way of “keeping you on your toes” in ways you’d never expect.

But yet again, this time of year has crept up on me way too fast, giving me a swift kick in the tuchas, whispering all of those sweet “R-word” nothings in my ear…rejoice, reflect, relax, refresh, rejuvenate and make your resolutions! And as I’ve tried to slow down and throw myself into the smells of potato latkes and the sounds of Christmas carols at every turn, I admittedly have been having a hard time “being in the moment”. How could that be? I’ve spent the past few months riding roller coasters and catching curveballs – what could possibly be missing now?

Apparently - the most important “R” word - Reboot.

A very wise woman suggested to me yesterday, that maybe I need a big, fat, old-fashioned Ctrl + Alt +Delete. She didn’t mean the kind where you turn off your cell phone and sit by a beach for week. She meant the kind where you step away from the chaos, do some genuine soul searching and start doing real things to awaken your spirit. And she was right.

We move so quickly and spend so much time just trying to keep up our daily to-do lists. Even with all of the reminders beeping at us from our phones and popping up on our computer screens, sometimes it feels like we are never ahead of the game no matter how hard we try. But we are also addicted to it. Because we fear that if we slow down, or even stop, that something might suffer. And it usually does – usually we suffer. Even when we get the huge promotion, or sign-on that big client or achieve whatever it is we are working towards- sometimes it just doesn’t do the trick. There is still this void deep down in our guts, just screaming at us to be filled.

I’ve decided that there is no time like the present to take this wise woman’s sage advice. As I’m assessing the year and starting to jot down my 2013 resolutions, I already know that I’m supposed to go to the gym more, eat healthier, spend less and keep my house cleaner. But this year, instead of just asking myself what I can live up to in the New Year, I’m taking a different approach. This year I’m going to first figure out what is going to make me feel alive. What is going to jolt me out of my routine and pinch my insides? What is going to kick me out of my comfort zone? What will force me to grow? What will motivate me to get up every morning and want to fulfill my resolutions, rather than to do them just to check them off the list? What will inspire me to push aside the practicalities, responsibilities, obligations and excuses - to push beyond the limits I see in front of me without any feelings of guilt or regret –– to truly Live Fully in 2013?

Care to join me?

When Gifts Arrive in Unexpected Packages

Ever since we can remember, we were taught to wish, pray and dream about the things we really, really wanted.  As kids, we just figured that if we blew out all of the birthday candles in one breath, or left the best cookies and milk for Santa, or prayed enough every night before bed – the gifts that we asked for would appear. And often times they did. We found them hidden in the basement or amongst the other gifts under the tree, and we knew what they were way before we tore off the wrapping paper. Even though we were pretty sure that all of the energies we put into wishing, praying, hoping and dreaming actually paid off, a teeny tiny part of us still kind of “expected” to see those packages all wrapped up with our names on them.

As we’ve grown older, no matter how pragmatic, realistic, or jaded we’ve become, we still do it.   Even though we might not believe in Hanukkah Harry, birthday candle superstitions, or any type of higher power anymore, a part of us still wants to believe that if we put enough faith and thought into it, the gifts that we ask for will arrive, wrapped in their perfect packages with our names on them, just waiting to bring us all of the happiness we are looking for. 

And sometimes they still do. But sometimes, they show up unexpectedly, in different size boxes than we predicted or maybe even months or years after we initially asked for them. They arrive at our doorsteps, out of the blue, with our names written on them in big bold letters – ready and waiting for us to open them and enjoy. 

This summer, I’ve been reminded about and inspired by blessings in disguise, small things that come in big packages, big things that come in small packages and the good things that come to those who wait.  When opportunity knocks, open the door. It may not look like anything you've asked for, but when it’s there on your front stoop, staring you in the face, don’t overlook it too quickly. It may just be the best gift you’ve ever received.  

The Blessing and The Curse of Loyalty

Loyalty. It’s one of those untouchable, selfless, highest-on-the-list-of-importance values that everyone strives for in any relationship. Whether it be in the workplace, with a spouse, or within our circles of friends – we often use the word “loyal” to describe those we hold most precious to us. We throw around the word “loyalty” as a measurement to determine who believes in us, our ideas and our causes enough to be “all in” during the good times, bad times and every time in between. Loyal people don’t waiver; they are not fair-weathered fans. They are constants, they are unquestionably reliable, they are our best teammates/partners…and even our best publicists.

Loyalty is rare, so we cherish it, nurture it and reward it when we find it. And sometimes we feel so lucky to find loyalty, that it blinds us to other realities.

Last week, this lesson played itself out loud and clear as I watched 20+ years of workplace relationships come to an end. A family-owned company that put loyalty on such a pedestal, that it came back to bite them in the tuchas in the end. They wanted, so badly, for their long-time employees (who were almost like family members after all of these years) to be successful, that they turned the other way when they should’ve been holding them accountable. But the truth was …that no matter how many chances they were given to up their game and prove themselves, these employees just weren’t meeting expectations. Despite all of the history and relationships they had developed after so many years together, the owners had no other choice than to sever ties with them. Even though from a business perspective, it made sense – it still hit home with me on a deeper level. Because we’ve all been there. We’ve all wanted to believe in people who believe in us. And we’ve all wanted to give them as many chances as possible to prove that they really are what we think they can be.

But today, I am reminded that loyalty, as we’ve known it, just isn’t enough anymore. We are living in a time where people are forced to make tougher decisions than ever before - in order for companies to survive, and for people to thrive in a healthy, productive way. We’ve all stayed in situations and relationships longer than we should’ve because we want to honor loyalty. While it can be legitimately sad to watch these relationships come to an end, maybe I’ve come to realize that a true component of loyalty actually IS accountability, after all. Because when it’s all said and done - what you do is just as important as what you are.

Chasing Your Future

Admittedly, I’ve been a little MIA from the blogosphere recently.  It’s not that I haven’t had anything good to share –that’s hardly the case in my world. But, every time I sat down to put my thoughts to the keyboard, my mind started racing in a million different directions…until today.

Today at the gym one of my gym-friends pulled me aside after class. I could tell that she wanted to “talk” (even though we were standing right smack in the middle of the weight-lifters and mat stretchers). I could see by the look on her face that she was unsettled about something. When I asked her what was wrong, she just looked at me and said, “I’m just not sure where I’m supposed to be. In work, life – everywhere.”  I responded to her - without even thinking twice, “You are exactly where you are supposed to be.”  And then it dawned on me. 

I, like most of you, have areas in my life that I wish would change, evolve, improve…or maybe even disappear altogether.  I’ve dedicated my life to helping others achieve their career and life ambitions, and now I’ve found myself at a similar crossroads – wishing that certain things in my life were different and feeling impatient that I can’t change them overnight. But, today, when listening to my gym-friend, it just came to me.  I’ve been so pre-occupied with attaining my next big career goal and finding my next life-changing moment that I’ve disregarded where I am right now.

I’ve been laser-focused on running towards the pastures that look prettier and greener than my own, but have I actually been wishing away my present while chasing my future? Might I look back and be sorry one day that I didn’t appreciate all that was actually in front of me in this very moment? Could it be that I, too, am exactly where I’m supposed to be, but blinded by the fact that I’m wishing I were someplace else?

I think so. 

Every day people come to me because they want to make a big change. Day in and day out, I coach them on how to move towards what will make them happier.  But, the world moves so quickly now, and those conversations seem more and more frequent. I sometimes stop and wonder how often people take a breather to actually appreciate the here-and-now moments without feeling the pressure of getting ahead or the need to always have something  better or more.

It’s true that goals, aspirations, plans and dreams are all essential to creating and living a fulfilling life.  They give us something to work towards - a reason to get out of bed in the morning, an opportunity to take chances and an overall purpose. But, the layovers, detours, roadblocks and stops on the journey are where the real adventures, experiences and take-aways are. Even though sometimes we feel completely lost, frustrated, blindsided and unsure of what lies ahead, I’m (slowly) beginning to appreciate that this is what “living” is all about. 

Recently, I watched the “You’re Not Special” commencement speech from Wellesley High School. If you haven’t seen it, I would definitely recommend it. I’ll  leave you with one of his quotes from the speech that truly resonated with me and hope that it leaves you with something, too, as you chase your future.

"Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It's what happens when you're thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so that you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly. Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion - and those who will follow them."

-David McCullough, High School English Teacher

The Talent Drought

I’m sure that many of you are wondering where I might be going with this “forecast” when unemployment numbers are higher than we’ve ever seen in our lifetime.  But, just as the great recession storm blew in with great force leaving many jobless with little warning, the tide has turned and a great talent drought is creeping up on us now. Some industries are already in the midst of it, while it will take time for others to really feel it.  But, I can tell you this - the talent war is ON and your company better be prepared. 

Have you noticed that it’s taking an extraordinary long time to fill that open position on your team? Were you bummed to find out that your “work best friend” (who recruited you to the company) was recruited to a competitor for a bigger and better opportunity because she didn’t get that promotion that was promised to her? Has your company interviewed some really stellar people to replace your manager who left last month, but hasn’t yet made an offer to any of them? Didn’t you think it was going to be really easy to hire a new admin, but even with all of the job board ads, nobody seems to be “right?” Or, have you been interviewing for the same job at a company for the past two months- just sitting, waiting for them to make a decision?

Many companies are rapidly growing again and their needs for talent are real. But many of them are still operating under the assumption that there are tons of people lined up outside their doors to work with them. I mean…there’s a bunch of talent out there, right?  Yes, there are a lot of very talented people out there who are seeking new opportunities. But, while companies are eager to hire, they aren’t ready to hire just “anyone.” They want candidates who fit 100% of the job description and company culture from top to bottom – and so far they have had the luxury to wait it out until they find “the one.”  But how long can this go on?  Not much longer. The longer the roles stay vacant and the more dried-up the pipelines become, the more the companies suffer, both now and in the long-term. 

My friends, we’ve entered a new era in talent acquisition. Companies and their employees can’t keep up with growing business on skeletal staffs anymore. Nor can they afford to lose or bypass top talent if they want to be competitive in the marketplace. Talent is the core of any organization – your company’s future depends heavily on the people you hire.  

Here are a few things your company can do to weather the talent drought:

Be Flexible

Ideally you’re holding out for that candidate with a Marketing degree and two internships form top communications companies. But, what about the Psychology major who is an excellent writer that the team just loved? With a little bit of training, he could be up to speed in no-time. He may not be able to hit the ground running on day one, but if he has all of the makings of a star player, why pass him up? Once he comes up to speed, he could be just as golden as the person with the degree and internships.

Move Quickly

Timing is everything. If you drag your feet, the candidate you love will get swooped up by your competitor. If you found “the one,” make it happen. Why wait? It could be a long time before another “one” comes your way.

Invest

Be proactive. Budgets may still be a little tight, but if you meet a superstar who wants to work for you, make the investment! You’ll be happy you did. It’s much more effective to have the person at your fingertips to lead that project that will be coming in next month, rather than spending weeks or months trying to find one when the business is staring you in the face.

“I am convinced that nothing we do is more important than hiring and developing people. At the end of the day you bet on people, not on strategies.”

-Lawrence Bossidy, Former COO of GE & author

When Is "When?"

“I’ll look for a new job when…”

“I’ll go on that vacation when…”

“I’ll go to the gym when…”

“I’ll start my own business when…”

Sound familiar?  Yeah, to me, too.  Perhaps it’s because I have a birthday coming up and I’m in the mode of assessing what I’ve done last year and what I want to do this year. But, lately, it seems like a lot of people around me are suffering from the “whens.”  

Recently, I was coaching a 2011 college grad who reached out to me because he wanted nothing more than to get out of his parents' house in Cleveland to start his post-college adult life in Chicago. After a year of living at home following his Big Ten college experience, it was clearly time for him to flee the coop.  Lucky for him, his aunt and uncle, who live in Chicago, offered him a place to stay (rent-free) until he got his feet off the ground in Chi-town. What a deal, right? So, what on earth was he still doing in Cleveland, you ask?  When I asked him that question, he told me that he just couldn’t go, yet.  He said he’d move when he felt like he had more “going on” in Chicago.  What exactly did that mean? When I pressed him on it, he couldn’t really define it either. 

We all have goals and aspirations we say we want to achieve, but how often do we come up with reasons about why we can’t do so right now?  What stops us from turning our “whens” into “nows?”

Nobody can deny that resources are tighter than they ever have been. And it’s true that good jobs are harder to come by and bank accounts aren’t as cushioned as they once were. These days, it’s impossible to ignore that these obstacles are real. But, in many cases, fear is what really gets in the way of getting things off the ground.  Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of failure, and even fear of success.  Let’s be real, change can be scary and overwhelming.  Intellectually, we may know what we want, but it feels way less scary and a lot less real if we put it out there on the horizon - just a little too far out of our reach.

So, what are you waiting for? Outside of logistics and resources, what else is preventing you from going after what you want NOW?  Each time you put it off, the more time fades away. 

Frankly speaking….if you really want to go on that vacation you’ve been saving up for, or go after that job that will take your career to the next level, or make that move to your favorite city, or start that company you’ve been dreaming about, pull out a piece of paper and a pen and start making a list of what you need to do to get the wheels in motion. It’s invigorating once you throw yourself into the here-and-now with your goals and start creating a plan to bring them to fruition. And you’ll see, once you commit yourself to making them happen and put the plan in action, the fear just starts to fade away. How do I know? Not only do I see these transformations and successes with my clients every day, I know all too well about all of this from my own personal and professional experiences, too. 

This week, I challenge you to think about all the things that can happen in your life if you begin to turn your “whens” into “nows!”